‘Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani’…
Early summer is prime wedding season in India, and childhood memories of summer weddings are of throngs of people, elaborate ceremonies, pranks with cousins, and overwhelming feasts. The typical wedding lasted three, sometimes even four days from start to finish, almost like the timeless train journeys of those days from one end of India to the other.
Decades later, and continents apart, I went last month to a wedding of Indian diaspora friends in California. The nuptials lasted a tidy seven hours, mirroring today’s airplane journey time from Pennsylvania to California, home bases of the families involved. The Indian wedding in America has indeed morphed with the times. Happily, it has also retained the essence, adroitly blending past and present, every moment suffused with gaiety and joy.
Proceedings commenced early at the sprawling community center venue in Livermore, with a stream of Indian, Chinese and Western guests tucking into a welcome South Indian breakfast on a typically chilly California morning. Folks had certainly turned up in their Sunday finest, presenting a pleasing spectacle in their Conjeevarams and other elegant outfits. A call for the baraat party (the groom’s procession) rang out on the dot at 8:30 am, and a group of baraat enthusiasts soon gathered at the far corner of the grounds. From there, they danced their way to the main quadrangle amidst much tumult and revelry, even as a stiff breeze helped lift their Bhangra leaps a couple of additional inches into the air.
The wind in fact was brisk enough to blow a few scarves and shawls and sundry items over, prompting the waiting bridal party by the main altar to launch with gusto into the Sri Hanuman Chalisa, a popular supplication in praise of the ever auspicious deity Hanuman. No sooner had they sang it through, than the winds calmed into a gentle breeze, the sun peeped out, and the baraat party led by the groom and his parents arrived to enthusiastic shouts and songs of welcome from the bride’s family. The bride, in accordance with custom, waited indoors.
The ritual preliminaries now got under way, adhering largely to a South Indian format, with the bride and groom parties each represented by their own officiating priest. The priests invoked the blessings of the elements, praying for the success of the main ceremony, while the groom retired into a chamber for the next ceremonial act, the Kashi Yatra. The Kashi Yatra requires the groom, spurred by a last minute fit of renunciation, to embark on a pilgrimage by foot to Kashi, only to be stopped shortly by the bride’s father, and after some convincing, to relent finally to continue with the wedding. Kashi of course being in India, and the groom not quite equipped with either visa or airplane ticket, this Kashi yatra of California origins was not going to last too long. More laughter ensued when the bridal side’s priest counselled that the versatile bride was already one step ahead having visited Kashi earlier, and could certainly help make arrangements for a guided tour if he went through with the wedding!
Next came more sweet and fun preludes, the oonjal or swing ritual, with several ladies singing, dancing and celebrating around the couple seated on a swing, followed by the ‘maalai maatral’, an airborne exchange of multiple garlands between the couple, each hoisted on the shoulders of their respective supporters.
For the main ceremony, the bride, now looking radiant with joy, donned a traditional saree presented to her by the groom. The priests made sure to provide wonderful translations for many of the beautiful Sanskrit invocations, so all present could appreciate. The audience followed with heightened interest, making it a most user friendly nuptial ceremony to witness.
Vows exchanged, the groom vested the bride with the mangalsutra, the ‘cord of auspiciousness’ that would signify them man and wife. This was to be the first time the couple would hold hands…clearly the prevailing mores of earlier times, but with the priest quipping this surely was their first time in front of such large gathering of family! Congratulations flowed all round, and the couple came off the altar stage to walk down the aisle, receiving wishes from friends, and seeking blessings from the elders in the audience.
However pre-compatible the bride and groom of today may be with each other though, the actual moment of the mangalsutra remains one that transcends place and time. The son and daughter of timeless generations who have suffered and striven, rejoiced and loved for this blessed moment, beholding each other, ancestors pouring benediction from the far corners of the universe. Mother to be of countless future generations, their destiny being woven from the cosmic thread of this holy wedlock, gazing into the eyes of her knight in shining armor. Praying together that may there be no one in their line who would not come to realize the bliss of God. Promising to be tender and caring for each other, not for this life alone, but for seven lives in the future where they would, by traditional belief, continue to find and be wedded to each other.
The post wedding reception was no less memorable. The bride’s brother officiated as master of ceremonies, delivering brilliantly witty punches in a modern day version of the katha kalakshepam. His side splitting life advice to the couple and their equally humorous repartees regaled the crowd. The prince now proceeded to serenade his princess in mellifluous tones, accompanied by a high school buddy on the piano, and she seemed to approve, soon joining him in graceful step. Their friends from school, and all over the world, shortly took over the stage for a performance that could do a Bollywood professional dance troupe proud. This cool and hip generation can certainly excel at just about everything.
An exceptional luncheon culminated in an array of enticing vegan desserts, while easily surpassing the most scrutinizing standards of connoisseur’s tastes. The proceedings then dissolved into further dancing and merriment.
Everyone went away happy for having witnessed a joyous union of hearts. This modern day Indian wedding, all of seven hours, was as complete and wonderful as it could be, in every sense of the word.
Gautam,
This is Manisha, the bride from said wedding. Thank you so much for this beautiful post. I am so deeply happy to read that you enjoyed the ceremony. You paint such a rich picture with these words – thank you for allowing me to relive the best day of my life! Indeed, Gopal and I wanted to preserve the most salient aspects of the Tamil Iyer ceremony, which is packed full of beautiful symbolism, and yet we also wanted to work within the constraints of the modern American schedule.